I hate to leave on an angry note, but sometimes it just can’t be helped.

I wish my days weren’t stained with the same shade of red so often (and you know I’m not talking about THAT time of the month). Just a prick of anger sends the rest of my emotions scattering for cover. Recent happenings have paved a landscape so dry and gritty that fury runs through it like wildfire.

Today I find myself slipping a cigarette stick and lighter into my pocket during the afternoon break. And there I was, standing at the basement car park at 3.45 PM, smoking alone. For those few brief moments, Marlboro was all I needed for company.

As the rage swirled quietly in the pit of my stomach, twisting and turning like the smoke curls in front of my eyes, I conceded to myself that at the core of this awful, ugly feeling was actually disappointment. A whole truckload of it.

I wish I can articulate exactly why I’m overcome with all this negativity. Why I feel the need to be disappointed at things that I cannot control.

At times I blink in silent disbelief, witnessing the careless disregard towards the feelings of others. Other times I am enraged by the blatant lies mumbled in the softest of tones, almost ashamed but not quite there.

Perhaps it’s just a backlash of a once-naïve girl who was constantly surprised by how utterly thoughtless, selfish, and deceitful people can be.

And yes, I say once-naïve, because I am officially emotionally spent and too exhausted to care anymore. I am done with believing in the best in people, and there will be no more of taking leaps of faith that merely lead to heartache, and then more heartache. I can only fake THAT many smiles and say “do whatever you like, it’s your life” THAT many times, y’know?

So I’m going out of town for the weekend. I miss the beach anyhow.

It’ll be good to leave behind all the faces I don’t want to see in KL, if only just for a couple of days. The heartache needs to stop at some point, and I think I deserve an escapade, really.

Before I go – happy belated birthday to Ray and Mark; congratulations to Manchester Utd for being Champions of England and Kings of Europe; thanks to YongChia, Mark, William, and HanRen for a fab time in Melaka last weekend; huge congratulations to David Cook for being the new American Idol (David Archuleta is awesome too!); and last but not least, if you pray then please keep a thought for those who suffered from the tragedies in Myanmar and China? I know I am.

Will be back when I feel better… which may be in a week’s time, or it may be in July. Who knows? Till then, take care y’all.

This was the previous weekend’s outings at The Orange, Hartamas (Thursday) and at Republic, Sunway Pyramid (Friday).

Haven’t been able to see the entire MMU gang at one go this year, with everyone’s workplace spread out across the country and beyond the straits. Some are in Penang, a couple more are in Singapore, one’s stationed in Kelantan (!), and one lost soul is in Klang (which might as well be Mars coz it’s sooo difficult to catch him at a free time *pokes Ed*).

So yeahh the gatherings were awesome times ten. :D Although the night out at Republic started pretty bad with some “extra invitees” showing up and spoiling the cheery mood for us. Hrmphh. It wasn’t until they left at 2 AM that the original intended group began to have some real fun, just talking and laughing and drinking. “See, this is how it was supposed to be!” — Wayne

Group picture :D

Me, RongPing, Cherry

Republic, Sunway Pyramid’s latest and not-quite-happening bar

It took 4 tries before we got a good group picture with everyone captured within the frame :P

Me and Robin - this dude is learning how to fly a plane in Kota Bharu!

One last group snapshot :)

A big thanks to Peeka for the photos. Read up on more of these reunion gatherings at Peeka’s and Wayne’s blogs. :)

A sad sad MSN conversation with SCG on this sad sad Friday morning… ;(

| s o b e L says (9:19 AM): who’s ur class’s speaker today?
G@LLen says (9:20 AM): someone from rhb bank
G@LLen says (9:20 AM): u?
| s o b e L says (9:20 AM): mr *** *****!!!!!!!!!!!
(name is censored to protect the innocent, namely me :D)
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): -_-”
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): haiyo
G@LLen says (9:21 AM): wat is that?
G@LLen says (9:21 AM): hahaa
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): u know him, he taught us before
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): during our 1st week last year
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): very boring indian dude
| s o b e L says (9:21 AM): talked about law
| s o b e L says (9:22 AM): his voice is just the 1 same monotone the whole day… very dull..
| s o b e L says (9:22 AM): :P
G@LLen says (9:22 AM): oooo
G@LLen says (9:22 AM): my god
G@LLen says (9:22 AM): that fellow
G@LLen says (9:22 AM): i m lucky..n u r so unlucky
| s o b e L says (9:24 AM): hahaha yalarrr
| s o b e L says (9:24 AM): bad luck
| s o b e L says (9:24 AM): :(
| s o b e L says (9:24 AM): summore this topic is gonna be for 3 days rite

The thing is, since the first time we attended this particular speaker’s class last December (I swear I slept through the class from morning till evening), we’ve known that eventually he’ll be back to teach us again for the stream of Conventional Banking. It was just a matter of which class he would go to, coz there are 3 classes for each stream - I’m in D3, Geetha is in D2, and Sara, Meera, and SCG are in D1.

And now we know.

… Why oh why must it be D3? Sighhh.

Expect me to NOT pay attention at all today, and possibly next Monday and Tuesday too if he’s sticking around as our speaker for the topic of Transactional Banking. Whoop dee doo. -_-”

Thank you for apologizing.

Thank you for acknowledging that I had every right to get angry.

Thank you for promising that it will not happen again (and actually keeping your word).

At the very least, it shows that you’re capable of thinking of others and not just yourself, once in a while.

/end drama of the week

Janice (Wei Lan) held a concert in Stadium Merdeka last night…

AND IT WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!

Janice was giggling a lot throughout her performance, like when she had a mini crisis with her hair twice and her stylist had to come onstage to help her out.. teehee so cute.

Attending the concert was such a last minute plan and we only got the tickets the night before! I went with some coursemates - Orical, Mun Wai, SCG - and we had so much fun just sitting there and singing along and swaying our shoulders, haha… Janice saved her most popular song, Dai Gor (Big Brother) for last, asking the crowd to sing it with her. A perfect ending to a perfect night of pretty melodies, yayy.

Oh and with her heritage being half-Fipilino and half-Korean, Janice spoke in a mix of perfect English and not-so-perfect Cantonese.. Orical and Mun Wai were grinning at that and pointed at me, saying that Janice was my “tong lei” aka the same kind aka ‘banana girl’. *shakes fist* Haha! Oh well, at least I have something in common with her then. :P Her voice sounded sooo good live, y’all! I think she’s my favouritest Asian female singer now. :) :)

I’m still humming her songs this morning on the way to work. What a great way to kickstart a lazy Friday, especially since I only got home at 2.30 AM last night. After the concert, I sped off to Hartamas where the night continued with a 14-jugs-of-beer drinking session at The Orange with loads of MMU people, most of whom I haven’t seen in ages. :D

~ Jin ye ni hui bu hui lai
ni di ai hai zai bu zai… :) ~